The last week of school was rough.
Partly because it rained all week.
Partly because, Let's face it, when you haven't seen the sunshine for a while, you tend to feel a little depressed.
And partly because when your kids have inside recess on the last week of school, they tend to get a little wild.
But mostly because I knew all week that I was losing my kids and the chances of me seeing any of them ever again is rather slim. I held it together all week, but after they all walked out of our classroom for the last time, I turned around and saw the empty room.
And I knew they weren't coming back.
And I stood in the middle of the floor and bawled like a baby.
Then I went to California for a week, where the sun was shining and I could lay out on the beach I wouldn't have to think about how much I missed my kids. But it turns out, laying on the beach is not the place for not thinking about stuff. Truth be told, I thought about a lot of stuff.
I thought about all the things I hope they remember.
Like how to skip count
and put periods at the end of sentences
and invite the lonely kid to come play at recess.
I thought about the things I hope they learned.
Like the difference between 'right' and 'write'
and the difference between right and wrong.
I thought about the most important thing I could teach them.
How much I love them.
And the most important thing I couldn't teach them, but I hope they realized anyway.
How much their Heavenly Father loves them.
I thought about my hopes for them.
That they wouldn't be scared of 3rd grade (even though they will be)
That they will stay out of trouble (even though they won't)
That their new teacher will love them as much as I do (even though it's not possible)
I thought about where they will be in 10 years.
Will they graduate?
Will they be nice to each other?
Will they capitalize proper nouns?
Will they be safe?
Will they be Happy?
Everyone at work told me the first class is the hardest one to let go of. After a while, you get used to seeing them walk bravely (or in some cases, not-so-bravely) out of your door and on to a bigger, harder world. I don't see how. If I love every class this much, shouldn't it be this hard every time?
They say it gets easier.
I hope it doesn't.
Your post almost made me cry. Partly because I'm all hormonal and all :) and partly because it reminded me watching all those kids walk out the door when I worked at NOWCAP. I went home and cried. I lucked out and got to move up to the next "grade" with them the next year because the teacher ahead of us had to move. It was better than Christmas. It's amazing how much you can love children that "aren't yours"...even thought they kind of are. :)
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